


She Will Be Loved

by justlovely



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-02-23 03:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23938621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justlovely/pseuds/justlovely
Summary: It was Gen’s comment. ‘If you do want to fit into your jeans come summer, you should probably start ordering the salad.’ Lara Jean has always been an overthinker. She overanalyzes everything, playing conversations over and over again in her head. What Gen said struck a chord in her. She’s never been insecure about her body before. Sure, she’s had days where she’s felt bloated, or wished her stomach was flatter, legs longer, but who hasn’t. Gen was drop dead gorgeous. No doubt one of the most, if not the most, attractive girl in their class. A part of her knew Gen was trying to get under her skin, but a part of her wondered what if? What if what Gen said was true?
Relationships: Peter Kavinsky & Lara Jean Song-Covey, Peter Kavinsky/Lara Jean Song-Covey
Comments: 5
Kudos: 48





	She Will Be Loved

It was Gen’s comment. ‘If you do want to fit into your jeans come summer, you should probably start ordering the salad.’ Lara Jean has always been an overthinker. She overanalyzes everything, playing conversations over and over again in her head. ‘I should have said this’ or ‘I should have asked that’. What Gen said struck a chord in her. She’s never been insecure about her body before. Sure, she’s had days where she’s felt bloated, or wished her stomach was flatter, legs longer, but who hasn’t. Gen was drop dead gorgeous. No doubt one of the most, if not the most, attractive girl in their class. If Gen had to watch her weight, what about the rest of us? A part of her knew Gen was trying to get under her skin, but a part of her wondered what if? What if what Gen said was true?  
  
She watched Gen walk away in her tight skinny jeans and ribbed top. The top was flush against her skin, and flat on her stomach without an inch to pinch. Lara Jean looked down at her own outfit. She had been so proud of her outfit that morning, she found the skirt at a vintage boutique with Peter and ordered the tights off this cute Korean website. But now she wasn’t so sure. Did the skirt make her hips look big? What about her top? It fitted perfectly this morning, but now seemed too tight.  
  
She walked back to the table with Peter, Chris, and their friends.  
  
‘Got you a turkey sandwich with apple. Your favorite.’ Peter offers, sliding a sandwich her way.  
  
Lara Jean gives him a smile. ‘I’m not hungry.’  
  
Peter shoots her a questioning look. ‘I had a really big breakfast.’ She explains.  
  
‘Don’t mind if I do.’ Chris says reaching over Lara Jean for the sandwich, tearing off its wrapping and taking a big bite.  
  
‘Chris’ Peter frowns at her. ‘That was for Lara Jean.’  
  
‘Lara Jean didn’t want it!’ Chris defends, her mouth filled with sandwich.  
  
‘It’s ok. Chris can have it. Turkey with apple is my favorite. You’re so sweet.’ She pecks Peter on the check. He perks up at the compliment, and goes back to talking about strategies for lacrosse with Trevor.   
  


* * *

  
When Peter drops her off at home after school, the first thing she does is change into comfy loungewear. She feels like she can breathe again. Lara Jean is examining herself in the mirror when she hears a crash downstairs. ‘Kitty? You ok?’ she asks. No response. She makes her way out of the bathroom and looks down the stairs to see Trina in workout clothes, surrounded by a mountain of shoes that have fallen off their rack. 

Trina looks up at her. ‘I can’t find my spin shoes.’ She explains. ‘And its boy band night tonight!’ She’s throwing shoes over her shoulder left and right. ‘Well don’t just stand there, come help me girl!’

Lara Jean leaves her post, and goes downstairs, pulling Trina’s spin shoes from the top shelf in the closet.

‘They’re right here. I put them on top so you’d find them more easily.’ She says offering Trina the shoes.

‘Thanks LJ!’ Trina says putting on the shoes.

‘So… boy band night huh? That sounds like fun. Can I join you?’  
  
‘Sure! It’ll be so much fun Lara Jean. Hurry up and get dressed.’ Trina says excitedly.

At Soul Cycle, Lara Jean can’t really keep up with the class. It’s not that she’s out of shape, but more that she’s a baker who enjoys romance novels instead of a fitness fanatic.  
  
‘Everyone here’s so good. And so fit.’ She thinks to herself as she looks around the room. Mostly women in yoga pants and sports bras or crop tops with toned arms and legs that go on for days. She feels self-conscious in her baggy t-shirt and shorts. She pushes herself harder and is dripping with sweat, but still can’t quite get a hold of the beat. 

* * *

  
For dinner, Dr. Covey made Trina’s infamous lemon chicken. It’s not Lara Jeans favorite, but it’s still pretty good and she’s starving from skipping lunch.‘Eat up!’ her dad says as he sits down with a glass of wine. The rest of the family digs in while Lara Jean focuses on cutting up her food into tiny portions and takes small bites.  
  
‘Lara Jean eat up, you worked out hard at Soul Cycle!’ Trina says.  
  
Lara Jean smiles at Trina and takes a bigger bite for show. ‘Mmmmm. This is great Trina. Good job Dad.’ After, she goes back to pushing the food around on her plate.  
  
Her dad notices. ‘Is something wrong honey? Are you not feeling well?’ He goes into doctor mode and comes over to feel her forehead.  
  
‘I’m just nervous about this big calc test tomorrow. I really should study, can I take dinner up to my room?’ She asks. Her dad nods in agreement, and she takes her plate up to her room.  
  
She sets the plate on her vanity and goes to lay down on her bed. She tries to work on her homework, but can’t concentrate. Her stomach grumbles.‘It’s ok. Just ignore it.’ She thinks. Her stomach grumbles even louder.‘Maybe some water will help. Yeah, that’s a good idea.’ And she chugs half her hydroflask of water.  
  
‘That’s better.’ And she goes back to working on her homework. A little while later her stomach starts up again with vengeance. She looks over at the plate of lemon chicken and gulps. ‘Just a few bites.’ she says as she walks over to the plate, and takes a bite. Before she knows it, her plate is mostly gone and she feels awful. She was doing so well. Now all the calories she burned during Soul Cycle were wasted.  
  
At that moment, Dr. Covey knocks on her door and comes in. ‘Oh good, you finished dinner. I’ll take the plate down for you.’ He offers taking the plate from her. ‘Good luck on your test tomorrow. Study hard.’ He wishes her before heading back downstairs.

  
Later that night Lara Jean is getting ready for bed. She’s already changed into llama pajamas and her hair is in a French braid so she’ll have waves tomorrow. She lays in bed and tries to sleep but can’t. She feels guilty about the chicken. About all the calories. Frustrated she gets out of bed and starts to do sit ups on the floor.  
  
1... 2.... 3.... 4... she huffs 5...6....7....

**Author's Note:**

> Please send some feedback my way, and let me know what you think!


End file.
